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While new customers and marketplaces are asking you to change, it doesn’t happen overnight. Change is a process of reflection, self-awareness, openness and patience to get to where we all need to be in terms of true inclusion.

To add one more tool in that DEI toolbox, try out the Head, Heart and Hand method to start the process of self-awareness.

 

Head — What do I know and what do I think?

Heart — How do I feel about it? What do I want?

Hand — What will I do? How will I act — based on what I think and how I feel combined?

 

How does that work in a real-life scenario? Let’s take this example of a team meeting:

Head — I know Andre has interrupted me in a department meeting. This is the third time he has interrupted me in front of other people. I may think: 1) he doesn’t think I have anything of value to add, 2) he thinks his ideas are more important than mine, 3) he was excited with my idea and wanted to offer his own. I buy into #2.

Heart — I am angry with Andre. Want: He must stop interrupting me.

Hand Interrupt him back; speak louder and more forcefully until he understands what I want.

This is a typical automatic response. It’s only fair, right?

Wrong.

Let’s try this again:

Head — I know Andre has interrupted me in a department meeting. This is the third time he has interrupted me in front of other people. I may think: 1) he doesn’t think I have anything of value to add, 2) he thinks his ideas are more important than mine, 3) he was excited with my idea and wanted to offer his own.

Instead of immediately jumping to one option, I ask myself: I wonder if he’s aware that he’s interrupting me?

Heart — My interpretation of the fact that Andre has interrupted me is unclear, but I am still angry with Andre. It upsets and even hurts me to be interrupted. Want: He must stop interrupting me. I want us to communicate more effectively with each other.

Hand Talk to Andre privately and ask if he is aware that he has been interrupting me. Explain the impact of his behavior on me. Work with him to reach a joint commitment to improve our communication with each other.

So, I have applied the Head, Heart and Hand method and decided to talk privately to Andre. How do I achieve constructive communication?

Check out our “Constructive Conversations” blog to learn more!

 

This blog was adapted from Principal Amy S. Tolbert’s updated book Reversing the Ostrich Approach to Diversity: Pulling Your Head out of the Sand: Five Simple Concepts You Can Use Now to Reap Bottom-Line Results by Honoring Diversity available on Amazon today!

 

Source: 

Tolbert, A. S., et al. Reversing the Ostrich Approach to Diversity: Pulling Your Head out of the Sand: Five Simple Concepts You Can Use Now to Reap Bottom-Line Results by Honoring Diversity. Amazon, Kindle Edition, 2019.